It's probably toothache but because of financial reasons I postponed my CT scan for cancer reoccurrence, I fear it has returned.

It's probably toothache, but the pain I am experiencing makes me think my cancer has returned for a visit. The thought of its return scares me because surviving cancer becomes a hell of a lot more difficult when you are on a fixed budget. Living a life free from illness has less to do with your DNA and more -to do with your place in the pecking order of society.

Art work Peter Scott Smith (1999)

Although housed, I am a member of the 1 in 7 Canadians who live in poverty. We are the ones, who statistically, don't follow up on medical exams, skip taking prescription medications and don't regularly see a dentist. Despite the right-wing news media’s propaganda, it's not fecklessness that makes the poor ignore their health until it becomes an expensive burden to other taxpayers. It’s because they don't have the finances to do it which causes much of their health emergencies and diminished life expectancy.

Up until I turned 60, last October, I was able to keep on top of most of my medical needs, but as the cost of living crisis has become persistent things like taking care of my health started to fall by the wayside. At first it was little things like switching to white processed bread to save on groceries. Then it became larger things like putting off my Respirologist’s recommendation I get a pneumonia vaccine because in the land that pretends it has universal healthcare, it costs $200. I have been lucky so far and have not developed any virus in my lungs that would spur on pneumonia. But luck is finite. So, I plan to use my income tax refund when it receive it in the next month or so for the vaccine if a more pressing emergency doesn’t take precedence.

Luck is also whimsical. You see, I cancelled my scheduled CT scan for this week for cancer reoccurrence over the expense of travel and accommodation to Toronto for the procedure. I thought I was thinking ahead by putting off the Scan until April to help with my rent in March. But then a bloody filling fell out from one of the few remaining teeth I have in my jaw. The pain from an expose root in that tooth has left me in a malaise. Unlike Dostoevsky's character in Notes from the Underground, the pain from toothache is not edifying to me.

For seven days, I have careened from panic to pain and then on to lethargy. My present sensations are reminiscent of my initial experience with cancer that came calling for me in the winter of 2020. The odds are it isn't cancer, but it is triggering, and the discomfort will continue for at least another six days. My financial situation meant locating the cheapest dental clinic in my area- or purchasing a pair of pliers and vodka, and pulling the tooth on my own. In Canada, we are told that dental care is on the way. I am not holding my breath for it because it is to be administered by the private sector, which means the 1% will loot it of all its public money whilst the corporate news media manufactures a consent that dental care is just too expensive for the nation's wealthiest taxpayers to afford.

The whole Western world is in free fall when it comes to dental care, healthcare, mental health care and affordable housing because the public has acclimatised itself to being treated as people who should just be thankful that they were given a berth in steerage on the Good Ship Neoliberalism. However, it is only a matter of time before people on the lower decks become so desperate for a better existence that mutiny comes to your country.

Thanks for reading and supporting my substack. It’s an SOS because the end of the month approaches and I am short on rent. Your support keeps me housed and also allows me to preserve the legacy of Harry Leslie Smith. A yearly subscriptions will cover much of next month’s rent. Your subscriptions are so important to my personal survival because like so many others who struggle to keep afloat, my survival is a precarious daily undertaking. The fight to keep going was made worse- thanks to getting cancer along with lung disease and other co- morbidities which makes life more difficult to combat in these cost of living crisis times. So if you can join with a paid subscription which is just 3.50 a month or a yearly subscription or a gift subscription. I promise the content is good, relevant and thoughtful. Take Care, John